How I Stopped Punishing Myself Even When I Did Not Achieve My Goals – Live A Worthy Life . I learned to accept the fact that I have changed. Things that used to matter to me don’t matter anymore. And I need to let them go.
Do I need to complete that project on my own to prove myself better than everyone else? No. I just need to get the project done.
Do I really want that job promotion? No. I don’t care about it as I plan to start my own business one day.
Do I need to work 16 hours a day to complete all the house chores and my work? No. The house doesn’t need cleaning every day and I can always get some help with the chores.
I drew a picture of what I really wanted in my life, and I set my attention toward it. Other things that would not be a part of my picture are not worth to worry about.
So I think it is annoying enough that studies have decided women should not have pap smears necessarily on an annual basis – well unless you have had cancer and then I can’t remember exactly but I think I can get one every year and a half versus three years. But now they are changing it up again with Tamoxifen, and I have to be honest, the news is hitting me odd.
Apologizing, of course, isn’t always a bad thing. The problem is with over apologizing, or offering an apology out of habit when one really wasn’t needed. In fact, all that apologizing may just make you seem weak or timid.
Beyond potentially sending a message of low confidence, over apologizing can lead to a bit of a “boy who cried wolf” situation. If you’re always saying sorry for each small transgression throughout the day, does your apology for a significant event carry the same weight? Times that truly warrant a heartfelt sorry may not feel as authentic when people know you apologize 100 times a day.
All this being said, apologies have their time and place. We just need to be more mindful of knowing when to say sorry or adjusting our approach to accomplish the same goal.
Sitting at the pool remembering my visit to – Melbourne beach- looking out into the ocean and feeling the sand between my toes and the water lashing at my feet- also collecting shells by the water -I can say it was better than strawberry ice-cream. I felt a inner peace that came over me ..years of medical issues and one time in my life I was at peace. what is it about the ocean that brings me peace?
When the world is changing all around you, holding on to some sense of normalcy can be a useful way to minimize stress and find comfort. Research has found that maintaining routines can help people get a better handle on symptoms of stress and anxiety.4
Simple things like going to bed and waking up at the same time each morning can provide you with a sense of structure, even if it feels like other areas of your life are less predictable.
Other activities you might want to incorporate into your daily routine that may help your mental well-being during times of transition include:
Low self-esteem can take a toll on your emotional well-being, so it is important to take steps to address your sense of self and get the support that you need. Building your self-esteem takes time, but there are things that you can do to help protect your mental well-being while you are taking steps to improve your self-regard. Things that you can do that may help include:
Low self-worth also causes people to feel that there is little chance that the future will be any better. These feelings of hopelessness can make it hard for people with low self-esteem to engage in behaviors that will bring about positive changes in their lives.
Self- Sabotage is also a common way of coping with such feelings. By finding obstacles to prevent success, people with low self-esteem are able to find something else to blame for what they see as their own shortcomings.
Low self-esteem causes people to focus on their flaws rather than their strengths. Rather than build themselves up with positive self-talk, they always seem to have something negative to say about themselves. They blame themselves when things go wrong and always find some fault with some aspect of themselves, whether it is their appearance, their personality, or their abilities.
Low self-esteem can play a role in causing this lack of confidence, but poor confidence can also contribute to or worsen poor self-esteem. Finding ways to gain confidence in yourself and your abilities can be helpful. Acquiring and practicing new skills is one tactic you might try to boost your confidence and self-esteem.
In addition to mentally preparing yourself for the challenges of making a change, it is also essential to be sure that you are taking care of yourself physically during a transition period. When things are in flux, you might find that you neglect many of your basic needs.
Stressful events often seem much worse when you are exhausted or hungry, so taking some time to attend to your basic needs by eating a healthy meal, getting some rest, or just taking some time to relax can restore some sense of equilibrium to your life.
This might seem tough, but when you have a “no complaints” rule, something amazing happens. You’ll begin to move away from focusing on problems and instantly look for solutions every time you’re faced with a challenge. I’ve found that this is one of the most powerful and effective ways to maintain a positive outlook– no matter what else is going on in your life. Make it a habit and you’ll be surprised.
Take a good look at the different areas of your life and identify the ones in which you tend to be the most negative. Not sure? Ask a trusted friend or colleague. Chances are, they’ll be able to offer some insight. A co-worker might notice that you tend to be negative at work. Your spouse may notice that you get especially negative while driving. Tackle one area at a time.
When you listen to your favorite songs, your brain starts pumping out more norepinephrine and other pleasure-promoting chemicals. Music has an amazing ability to improve mood, bump up energy levels, and relieve stress. Perhaps unsurprisingly, people with depression often prefer sad songs to upbeat tunes. But that’s OK. The gentle pace of more somber music can have a calming effect.
Ever notice how making a small change, like getting a haircut, can seem to alter your entire worldview — not to mention the way people view you? “Large or small revisions help to welcome in new energy . So go ahead, get a haircut, change your route to work, make a conscious effort to recycle, or take ballroom dancing lessons and enjoy,
As they say, sh*t happens — you miss the bus, get dumped, don’t get the promotion (or all of the above). Of course these situations are all bad, to varying degrees. But it’s up to you to put a positive spin, or at least try to find some good in the situation. -“No matter how bad something seems, there is a lesson to be learned, a skill to be improved on.” See if you can find what that is, no matter what happens to you.
Looking to confident people you admire, reading inspirational statements, or repeating a motivating mantra can also be a way to boost your confidence when you need it. The key is to choose realistic role models or statements that reflect achievable goals.
While you might be tempted to pump yourself up with aspirational quotes or feel-good affirmations, research suggests you should exercise caution when selecting motivational quotes. This is because unrealistic or overly positive inspirational quotes can sometimes backfire.