I focus on what matters to me….

How I Stopped Punishing Myself Even When I Did Not Achieve My Goals – Live A Worthy Life ­. I learned to accept the fact that I have changed. Things that used to matter to me don’t matter anymore. And I need to let them go. 

Do I need to complete that project on my own to prove myself better than everyone else? No. I just need to get the project done.


Do I really want that job promotion? No. I don’t care about it as I plan to start my own business one day.

Do I need to work 16 hours a day to complete all the house chores and my work? No. The house doesn’t need cleaning every day and I can always get some help with the chores. 

I drew a picture of what I really wanted in my life, and I set my attention toward it. Other things that would not be a part of my picture are not worth to worry about.

Rating: 1 out of 5.



now what if you are on tamoxifen?


So I think it is annoying enough that studies have decided women should not have pap smears necessarily on an annual basis – well unless you have had cancer and then I can’t remember exactly but I think I can get one every year and a half versus three years. But now they are changing it up again with Tamoxifen, and I have to be honest, the news is hitting me odd.



Apologizing, of course, isn’t always a bad thing. The problem is with over apologizing, or offering an apology out of habit when one really wasn’t needed.  In fact, all that apologizing may just make you seem weak or timid.

Beyond potentially sending a message of low confidence, over apologizing can lead to a bit of a “boy who cried wolf” situation. If you’re always saying sorry for each small transgression throughout the day, does your apology for a significant event carry the same weight? Times that truly warrant a heartfelt sorry may not feel as authentic when people know you apologize 100 times a day.

All this being said, apologies have their time and place. We just need to be more mindful of knowing when to say sorry or adjusting our approach to accomplish the same goal.

Sitting with my thoughts


Small zen stone towerSitting at the pool remembering my visit to  – Melbourne beach- looking out into the ocean and feeling the sand between my toes and the water lashing at my feet- also collecting shells by the water -I can say it was better than strawberry ice-cream. I felt a inner peace that came over me ..years of medical issues and one time in my life I was at peace. what is it about the ocean that brings me peace?

Don’t get stuck in the comparison trap.

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If you compare yourself to other people all too often, to their successes and especially to their high-light reels that they share on social media then self-doubt can quickly creep up.

A better way to go about things is to compare yourself to yourself. To see how far you have come. To see what you’ve overcome.

And to see how you’ve kept going, succeeded and grown as a human being.

Look to the past and awash yourself in the memories…..

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Be real with yourself and ask yourself:

How many times when I doubted myself or feared something would happen did that negative thing come into reality after I still took action?

The answer for me – and probably for you too – is not very often at all.

Self-doubts are most often just monsters in your head that your mind may use to keep you from making changes and to keep you within the comfort zone.

If you look to the past and see how well things have gone many times despite those self-doubts then it become easier to let go of them or to ignore them and to focus on the more likely positive outcome and to take action.

Remember: There’s a day tomorrow too.

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Sometimes you have a bad day. Or life interferes with your plans for the day.

And so you don’t get what you had planned or hoped for done.

The best way to handle such a situation is – in my experience – simply to kindly tell yourself that there’s a day tomorrow too and that you can get it done then.

Beating yourself up is on the other hand not a smart or helpful strategy.

Remind yourself of why you are working toward this…..

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When you’re feeling unmotivated and low in energy it’s easy to lose sight of why you’re doing something.

So take 2 minutes and write down your top 3 reasons for doing this work, getting an education, working out, saving that extra money or something else.

Put that note where you can see it every day or keep it in your smartphone for easy access when you need a motivational boost.

Be kind to yourself when you stumble…..

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It’s so easy to fall into the trap of beating yourself when you stumble or fail.

But that don’t work that well in my experience. You just feel worse and less motivated.

So try this the next time: be kind to yourself, nudge yourself back on the path you were on and take one small step forward.

Be constructive and learn from this situation……

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See it more as valuable feedback and something you can use to improve rather than only a big blow and setback.

I’ve found that the simplest and most helpful way to do that is to ask myself better questions (instead of the common ones that send you off into a negative spiral).

Certainty and guarantees….

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ome people build too many walls in their lives and not enough bridges. It sounds crazy, but they would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy. Don’t be one of them. Open yourself up. Take chances. Run free. To accomplish amazing things, you must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe. 

Happiness 24/7….

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Absolutely no one is happy all of the time. Because you simply can’t be happy unless you’re unhappy sometimes. This is a harsh truth, I know. Just keep in mind that it’s perfectly normal to experience considerable fluctuations in your level of happiness from day to day, month to month, and even year to year.