I know it feels impossible right now, but you can move forward and past whatever it is you feel like you can’t forgive yourself for.
I also know you may not want to move forward.
You may feel what you’ve done is so terrible that moving forward would be too good for you. Maybe you want to punish yourself. Unless you’ve done something unspeakable like raped or murdered someone, you’re taking the easy way out.
You’re also taking the path that propagates the kind of behavior you’re punishing yourself for in the first place. Less integrity leads to acting with less integrity which is followed by a further diminished integrity and self esteem.
So if you really want to make up for it you have to learn from it and resolve to stopping the behavior for good. That takes time, understanding, compassion and forgiveness.
If you think you’re a wretch, and treat yourself like one, you’ll act like a wretch.
If you think you’re a good person who made a mistake, you’ll act like a good person who made a mistake; which is, in fact, what you are.